How to Start Talking About Death (When You Don’t Know Where to Begin)
Talking About Death Is Hard. Here’s Where to Start.
Most people don’t avoid talking about death because they don’t care.
They avoid it because they don’t know how to begin.
There’s a fear of saying the wrong thing, opening something that can’t be closed, or frightening the people we love. Sometimes there’s also a quiet superstition — that talking about death somehow invites it closer.
So we wait.
We change the subject.
We promise ourselves we’ll bring it up later.
Later rarely comes.
The truth is, there is no perfect moment to talk about death. There’s only the moment you’re in, and the willingness to stay present through the discomfort.
Hard conversations don’t need to be dramatic or final. They don’t need to cover everything at once. In fact, the most meaningful conversations usually start small.
You don’t have to begin with what happens when I die.
You can begin with:
What matters to you if things got hard?
What scares you most about getting older?
What would comfort you if you were really sick?
These aren’t morbid questions. They’re human ones.
Often, what people are really afraid of isn’t death itself — it’s losing control, being a burden, being in pain, or being alone. Talking about death gives those fears somewhere to go instead of letting them live quietly in the background.
If you’re considering starting these conversations, a few things matter:
You don’t have to do it all at once.
One question is enough.
You don’t have to have answers.
Listening is more important than fixing.
You’re allowed to stop and come back to it later.
This is not a test.
Starting these conversations isn’t about preparing for the worst. It’s about making space for honesty while there’s still time.
If you’re not sure how to begin, I’ve created a simple, gentle guide designed to help you open these conversations without pressure or overwhelm.
It includes:
conversation starters
reflection prompts
permission to move slowly
You can download it for free here:
[Download: A Gentle Guide to Starting Hard Conversations About Death]
You don’t need to be ready.
You just need a place to start.
