On Taking This slowly

If You’re Not Ready, That’s Okay

A lot of people carry a quiet sense that they should be more ready than they are.

More ready to talk about death.
More ready to make plans.
More ready to face the conversations they know will come eventually.

That sense of “should” can be heavy. It shows up as guilt, avoidance, or a feeling that you’re behind somehow — even when nothing specific is wrong.

But readiness isn’t a moral achievement. It isn’t proof of courage, wisdom, or emotional strength. It’s simply a place you arrive when the timing is right — and sometimes, when it isn’t.

Not wanting to talk about death doesn’t mean you’re in denial. Often, it means you’re protecting something tender. Sometimes it means you’re already carrying enough. Sometimes it means you’ve learned, consciously or not, that certain conversations haven’t been safe in the past.

There is nothing wrong with any of that.

We live in a culture that treats discomfort like a problem to solve. We’re encouraged to push through, power forward, and “get it over with.” But some conversations — especially the ones that touch on mortality, loss, and fear — don’t respond well to force.

They ask for patience instead of pressure.
Curiosity instead of urgency.
Permission instead of performance.

It’s also okay if your resistance feels complicated. You might feel drawn to these conversations and repelled by them at the same time. You might read something like this, nod along, and then immediately want to close the tab.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing at something. It means you’re human.

You don’t have to do anything with what comes up here. You don’t have to act on it, fix it, or explain it to anyone else. Simply noticing the reaction — the tightening, the curiosity, the discomfort — is already a form of awareness.

This work doesn’t begin with bravery. It begins with honesty.

If you’re not ready to talk about death, you’re allowed to say that — even if only to yourself. If you are ready, but don’t know how to begin, that’s okay too. There is no timeline you need to meet, no checklist you need to complete.

This space will still be here when you’re ready.
And if you’re not, you’re still welcome.

If reading this stirred questions, uncertainty, or something you can’t quite name, you don’t have to hold that alone. You’re welcome to reach out if you want to ask a question or talk things through — without obligation or pressure.

Sometimes the first step isn’t a conversation about death.
It’s simply being heard.